Dear Friends and Gentle Hearts,
Thought you might like to have an explanation of our company insignia and motto as illustrated above. So let us talk about Mr. Abraxas which is the real name of the gent.
"Hold on" say you, "why does Mr. Abraxas have the head of a rooster?" Because in the olden times they believed that a rooster had foresight and future. So we here at Abbeon try and look into the future and stuff our website with all sorts of goodies that you may not need just this minute but may be in demand tomorrow or more than five years down the line.
Mr. Abraxas carries an old grain flail used to thresh the wheat from the chaff and also sometimes used to represent POWER in the old Gnostic Mythology. Again in business, we believe in separating the important things from the trivial. We believe in getting the best goods to you at the most practical lowest price in the biggest hurry— and letting the paperwork go till needed. WANT SOMETHING FAST— pick up the phone— 800/922-0977 and tell the young lady who answers of your need for speed— she will do her best to EXPEDITE. Incidentally, some of our young ladies are eligible for Social Security. Nobody retires here— we have no retirement plan. Our belief is that if you are working at a job where all you have to look forward to is “retirement”, QUIT TODAY. Life is too short to spend most of the best years trying to get a little security for the years when you have no hair, no teeth, a bum back, a faulty ticker, and low libido.
Mr. Abraxas also carries on his left arm The Shield of Knowledge. That is what protects us from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Over the years we have learned many things. Like for instance, we always try to stock and sell the best merchandise. This little piece of knowledge saves us endless problems that come with peddling cheap dreck (junk-garbage) and having customers send it back and complain.
To hurry on, Mr. Abraxas has the twin serpents Nous and Logos for feet and they stand for the sum total of Human Understanding and Wisdom upon which we all depend. Underneath our Logo is the cryptic word CRAS. Some people think he is Mr. Cras. Not so, CRAS is short for our company motto QUO DUBITARE PROCRASTINUS. Which translates, more or less, as I remember my Latin— “When in doubt— put it off until tomorrow”. Which is our California laid back way of telling you— a majority of our orders go out the same day as received— but sometimes it takes a little longer. Have patience. We always do our best to serve YOU.
Mr. Abraxas did have a job, in the old days it was believed that he was in charge of the 365th layer of hell. Also known as The Earth. The poor superstitious people used to pray to him with the chant ABRACADABRA, which in Greek numerology adds up to 365.
Now I would love to go on chatting but I see it is getting late, and you folks have been so patient as to read an old man’s ramblings all the way down to here.
Founder of Abbeon